Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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