i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
