I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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