Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
