Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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