Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize