I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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