On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize