VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
