No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
