I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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