Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
