There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
