I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
