HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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