I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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