Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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