good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
