okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
