you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize