did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
