No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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