his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
