So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize