come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
