I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
