yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
