I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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