i'm signing you up for texting rehab
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
