Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Operation Purity has been aborted
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
