If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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