ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Randomize
