She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The Olympian is in my bed
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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