dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
