remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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