i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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