I can text with my tongue
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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