He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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