She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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