I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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