Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize