yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
