Please don't use social media to get back at me.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
