Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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