Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
high people should be assigned attendants
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
