Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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