I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
