Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
She even gives head with a lisp.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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