Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
