Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize