and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
