Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
either way he was missing a nipple.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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