Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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