For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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