ugly people sure do ruin things
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
All the doctor said was why
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