I seem to have left my pride at pride
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I am available for nakedness
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
