i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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